The Election Is Over But the Badmouthing & Bitching Continue

It has been a week since George W. Bush won the presidency over John Kerry. I stayed up late watching the results but my prediction of Bush running away with the election was announced many, many months ago. John Kerry, in my opinion, is just not capable of inspiring people to do anything. I thought Edwards was very affable, but Kerry managed to put me to sleep whenever he opened his mouth.

Four years ago, Bush just barely won the presidency. Gore, a competitor with Kerry for most boring human alive or dead, won the popular vote but not the necessary electoral college votes. The debacle of hanging chads and seemingly moronic Floridians cast doubt on the results and there were numerous lawsuits.

There was a pall over Bush's first four years with people like jackass, propagandist filmmaker Michael Moore and Barbara Streisand claiming that W. stole the election in 2000. Well, in 2004 the people spoke very clearly and Bush beat Kerry by 3.6 million popular and 20 something electoral college votes. The people spoke very clearly and selected a man who despite making mistakes, actually has beliefs and stands up for them. Kerry doesn't actually stand for anything that doesn't have an opinion poll attached to it. The people saw this and voted accordingly. Democrats lost important positions all over this country. Tom Daschle, the Democratic leader in congress lost his seat.

So, to all of the bitter people who refuse to concede that their candidate was beaten fair and square; admit that their party has greater problems with being out of touch with the rest of the country; and that people like Michael Moore, Barbara Streisand, and Leonardo di Caprio should just shut the hell up and stay out of politics; I say:

Jon Stewart Brings Down The House

America is quite different from many other countries when it comes to the media. For many decades, the news people used to only present the news and allowed the viewer to decide for himself how he felt about it. In most other countries, that objective system remains in place and allows people to be better informed. This system has been replaced in America by media sensationalism and Jon Stewart has had enough.

With the presidential election being only a couple of weeks away, naturally the media talks about the candidates incessantly. Politics is the word of the day. Each candidate speaking to groups of people of what they will do to improve America's future and fix the problems that currently affect the people. CNN, a cable news channel that broadcasts 24 hours a day, doesn't just broadcast news.

One of its most popular shows is a debate program called Crossfire. On this program, the right and left "debate" back and forth the issues in politics. They analyze and spin whatever gaffes their respective candidates and parties make. The right is represented by Bob Novak and Tucker Carlson while the left is represented by Paul Begala and James Carville. They have a variety of guests on where they can "debate" with them.

I watch this program almost every single day because it's a political version of Jerry Springer. Nothing is ever debated on this show. The hosts argue and yell at one another, talk over their guests, bushwhack their guests, talk about the least important issues possible, make outrageous claims, and most importantly, they never resolved anything on their show.

Jon Stewart, the anchor of the Comedy Central broadcast news spoof the Daily Show, appeared on the program this past Friday. Jon Stewart and his program are quite successful having just won an Emmy and currently have the #1 selling book on the New York Times Best Seller List. He has been a critic of CNN and Crossfire in the past but no one could have expected what would happen on the program.

Stewart was introduced as being either the funniest smart man or the smartest funny man on television. They thought he would come out, plug his book, crack a few jokes, and be the funny man. Instead, they found someone who used the opportunity to be honest about the sad state the media was in. As the 14 minute segment dragged on, it only got worse. It was both beautiful and painful to watch.

A picture of when things were still civil
Stewart started off by asking if they could all just get along. He pointed out that the people of CNN could do so much for the people of this country by calling politicians on their bullshit and really informing the people. Instead, what they actually provide is political theatre. Stewart felt that the media was in fact "hurting America."

The hosts wouldn't actually answer any of Stewart's questions or respond to his challenges. They accused him of being soft on his political guests(Kerry actually appeared on The Daily Show) and that there wasn't a difference between the two programs. Stewart pointed out that his program is in fact on Comedy Central and the program that leads into his is puppets making crank phone calls.

Most of the dialog was between Carslon and Stewart. Carlson was practically pleading with Stewart to be funny. Stewart responded with, "I'm not your monkey." Then Carslon put up a graphic of the questions that Stewart asked Kerry on his show. Why did Carlson have a graphic of this? Was he going to in fact bushwhack Stewart on Crossfire even if things had gone according to plan?

A glimpse of when things turned ugly
Things got so heated that at one point Stewart actually called Carlson a dick. The hosts of Crossfire were totally out of their element with this wise guest. When they tried to counter his questions and statements with their own, Carlson asked about the dildo incident involving Bill O'Reilly. Stewart looked really sad when they did this because they were only proving his point about the sad state of the media in this country.

Recently, there were three presidential debates and a single vice presidential debate. All of them were mindnumbingly boring because all of the candidates with the exception of John Edwards have the charisma of a rotting corpse. Kerry is funny looking, stuffy, longwinded, and just sucks the energy out of a room. Bush is incapable of speaking publicly without giving the impression that he has had some sort of head injury.

In the most recent debate, the candidates pretty much answered the same questions with the same answers. Nothing new happened until the moderator asked this one question: "Do you think that homosexuality is a choice?"

Bush answered by saying that he just didn't know. However, he felt that people shouldn't be discriminated against. Kerry responded by saying that Dick Cheney's daughter is a lesbian and that she would not say it was a choice. All three people grading the debate for CNN, Novak, Begala, and comedienne Jessi Klein from Comedy Central felt that Kerry shouldn't have done that. They each commented on their blogs right as this happened. Kerry's comment is what the media decided to focus on.

In the days after the debate, the Cheneys expressed their outrage that their daughter was singled out by Kerry. Their offense was challenged to be shame by John Edwards' wife. The media couldn't stop talking about it. It was on Crossfire, Hardball, Scarborough, and all the other shows.

This unnecessary but ultimately insignificant comment was taking precedence on the news stations over more pressing issues such as: the war, the economy, the rising costs of healthcare, the deficit, etc.

This is exactly what Jon Stewart was talking about. Rather than talk about the news, the media in the U.S. focuses on something insignificant and sensationalizes it. Mary Cheney's sexual preference is important to no one. The fact that the presidential election is about two weeks from now and the media chose to focus on this is rather disheartening. Stewart chose their forum to bring about change and we can only hope that it comes soon enough. Stewart 2008 does have a nice ring to it.

Britney's Mom Is As Insane As Her Daughter

I was reading the Drudge Report when I saw this article about Britney Spears' mother not being happy with the media's image of her daughter as being trashy. A mother's love for her child is known to be unconditional. However, her comments revealed that this stage mom is quite delusional.

Lynne mentions on Britney's website that she has come across numerous photos of her daughter portraying her as trashy. She says that Britney is not going to give into pressures of dressing in more favorable ways to please the paparazzi. Could the reason that the media as well as the world thinks of the fashionably challenged Britney as being trashy is because she is?

The delicate butterfly that is Britney Spears
Britney has seemingly jumped on the same controversy bandwagon that Madonna as well as other celebrities have been riding for decades. Andrew Loog Oldham, the manager of the Rolling Stones on their ascent to stardom, once said that there is no such thing as bad publicity. However, none of the Rolling Stones ever mock masturbated while sitting in a large champagne glass for a mostly teen aged audience.

Britney has seemingly gone out of her way to show that she is no longer a girl, but a seriously confused woman. Her record sales, while still successful, are nowhere near what they were just a few years ago. Her onstage tongue kissing with Madonna at the MTV Video Music Awards caused controversy but didn't really boost record sales or sell out venues on her tour.

Britney made headlines by marrying her childhood sweetheart for a whopping 55 hours before having the marriage annulled. Months later she was engaged to one of her backup dancers and they announced their wedding plans as his ex-wife was about to deliver their second child. Definitely a classy catch for Miss Spears.

Britney's mother being mad at the media for them portraying her daughter as trashy is quite laughable. After all, Britney has done all of the work for them. One can only wonder what will happen next.

Hurricane Fever

Florida has taken a real battering over the past few weeks. No, it had nothing to do with the upcoming election or the infamous one of hanging chads or stolen elections, but with Mother Nature's tropical fury - hurricanes. The latest, Hurricane Ivan, is apparently going to travel up the western coast of the state.

The reign of terror began about 3 weeks ago with Hurricane Charley. It was expected to travel up the western coast of the Sunshine State and level Tampa. What Charley did was smash up much of the southwestern portion of the state, in locales like Port Charlotte and Fort Myers, then avoided Tampa altogether and attempted to level Orlando. There were many people in Orlando who had fled Tampa only to watch it uproot trees and taunt them from their hotel windows. These people included the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Many people were without power for over a week.

Soon after, Florida was rocked by Hurricane Frances. This demure sounding hurricane was to rock the Miami-Dade Broward area but hit farther north in Martin County. Charley weakened in Florida and traveled up to the coast and caused severe flooding in the Carolinas. People who were riding the tempest out in their storm shuttered homes started to go stir crazy after waiting for what could have been their pending doom. They couldn't even take their shutters down as yet another powerful hurricane was waiting in the tropics, Ivan.

Ivan has so far destroyed 90% of the homes in Grenada and is on record as the sixth most powerful hurricane of all time. It is currently over Cuba and is expected to hit the west coast of Florida and travel into the Gulf of Mexico. The people are tired of having to deal with gas stations out of fuel and super markets that are out of things like water, batteries, and other groceries.

Florida is said to have been fortunate for a few decades with weather patterns that would ultimately blow most hurricanes away from the state. Scientists have said that changing weather patterns and currents have now made the "Sunshine State" a hurricane magnet. With these high powered winds and the destruction that they and their tornadoes cause, one can only wonder if this is soon to be paradise lost.

From One Spectacle to Another

Now that the Olympics have come to an end, it is time for the Republican National Convention to assemble in New York City. Yesterday, there were hundreds of thousands of protesters marching in front of Madison Square Garden with all their banners, chants, and mostly moronic ideas - all in the name of free speech.

It is a wonderful right to be able to peacefully assemble and say what you want to say. However, when those ideas are so outlandishly ridiculous, will you truly garner any support? Let's take a closer look at some of the marchers' beliefs:

1. Signs saying that the current president is the number one recruiter for Al Qaeda.

What kind of silliness is this? Al Qaeda, just like any other anti-American group will recruit as many and as hard as it can until it either achieves its goal or is eradicated from the planet. Reason and dialog will never change the fact that American values and customs are not acceptable to them and never will be.

2. Reclaim Democracy.

Democracy was never lost - it is what got Bush in office. People seem to forget that Clinton and his administration were widely loathed for the assorted improprieties and scandals that they were involved in. Gore, while highly experienced as a politician as a senator and as a vice president, is still one of the dullest people on the face of the planet. He has the charisma and charm of a corpse. Not to mention he invented the Internet. Thanks, Al.

3. No Blood For Oil

It is a terrible tragedy when a soldier dies for his country. It is made even sadder when that soldier dies in a far off land for a people that don't want him there to begin with. As the old poem goes, his is not to reason why, his is but to do and die. While this is not The Charge of the Light Brigade, it is an all too real experience that is fueling much protest and anger in the American people. Sons are coming home in body bags and in pieces and for what?

The answer, many claim, is oil. Iraq and Afghanistan have large oil deposits and the US wants a cut of the action. People act like this in and of itself is a bad thing, however, it is not. Firstly, America is heavily dependent on oil. More people own cars in this country and drive more than anywhere else in the world. Gas prices are incredibly high right now and people are complaining. Secondly, the cost of this war is also quite high and to help repay the war debt there are only so many options - tax us or hustle the Iraqis and Afghanis.

When you have an administration with so many members who were previously involved in the oil industry, it only makes sense that they would hustle the Middle Easterners. It's a win-win situation for the Americans as an oil partnership would lower the prices of gas in the US and the savings can be used to pay the war debt. I really find it hard to believe that these protesters' Gulf War morals will cause them to want to pay more at the pump.

4. National _______ for Peace, Peace Peace Peace, Peace_________ with a side of Peace

Man, with the exception of the Swiss, is a warlike animal. From the very beginning of time, it has always been about getting either what you need or want by any means necessary. There is indeed a time to talk and a time to fight. These people don't see things that way at all and this is sad. History has shown that people who only choose peace as the solution ultimately lose until they change their minds. For a reference, look up Neville Chamberlain.

The RNC is about to begin and there is no telling what will happen. People who actually attend rallies and protests tend to get unhinged and teargassed. With the Democrats already saying that they will not sit idly by, a good show is guaranteed for all.

The Musical Messiah Returns

When you think of the truly great singers, one name rises above the rest. Pavarotti? Bono? Bennett? Nay, dear friends. These people are no talent hacks when compared to Him. Who is this person you ask? The man, the voice if you will, William Shatner.

Shatner, whose distinctive phrasing has already made him a musical legend, has decided to grace us with a new album. His musical collaborator this time around is none other than Ben Folds of Ben Folds Five fame. Joe Jackson sings all the truly rockish parts of the songs.

Here is a link to Shatner's rendition of the Pulp classic Common People. Shatner truly makes it his own. You must stretch and truly focus your chi before listening or you may die. You have been warned.

Happy Canada Day!


The Maple Leaf
Our Emblem Dear,
The Maple Leaf Forever.
God save our Queen and heaven bless,
The Maple Leaf Forever.

137 years and counting.

Emo Must Die

There is an incredibly annoying group of people around you and you may or may not have noticed them. Look for the distinctive signs of retro eyeglasses, messenger bags, cups of gourmet coffee, tattoos, and a livejournal account. You've probably seen a gang of mutant Gap kids congregated at the local Barnes & Noble, drinking their expensive frappucinos and wolfing down scones, while secretly studying you and thinking about how you and everything you like is so utterly below them. What you will have discovered are emo kids.

emo, as defined by the Something Awful dictionary:

emo - Stands for emotional. They think they're deep, enigmatic and misunderstood. They act depressed, cry when they have girl troubles, listen to crappy pop-punk, linkin park and the like. They talk about suicide not because they would actually do it, but they like sympathy and attention. They wear glasses for aesthetic reasons only, and will judge you by what you wear and the music you listen to. Notoriously whiny.

"VIOLENCE ISN'T COOL, ALL WE KNOW HOW TO DO IS POGO AND SPAZZ OUT LIKE ASSTARDS AT SHOWS, WE CANT FIGHT DANCE OR EVEN MOSH, JUST TWITCH LIKE A PARKINSON'S AFFLICTED FERRET BEING DRAGGED BEHIND A SMALL CHILD'S BIKE IN WOMENS CLOTHING AND BLACK FRAMED GLASSES AND THE GLASSES ARE CLICHE BUT WE'RE HARDCORE SO WE'RE CLICHING THE CLICHE WHICH MEANS ITS COOL YOU WOULDNT UNDERSTAND OK YOU DONT KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE ME FUCK YOU MAN I HAVE EVERY RECORD RELEASED BY VICTORY BUT ONLY IF THEY HAVE THREE RANDOM WORDS MAKING UP THE NAME AND THEY'RE ONLY COOL UNTIL THEY PUT OUT A CD AND THEN THEY'RE SHIT BECAUSE ANYONE WHO RELEASES ANYTHING BUT 7" RECORDS ARE FUCKING TOOLS AND MY FAVORITE BAND IS SO HARDCORE THEY BROKE UP BEFORE THEY RECORDED A SONG AND I DON'T EAT MEAT HEY DID I MENTION THAT I'M STRAIGHTEDGE TOO LOOK I DREW X'S ON MY HANDS AND I'M STRAIGHTEDGE BUT I STILL SMOKE BUT ITS COOL CAUSE I'M EDGY LIKE THAT"

I'm so emo it hurts
What brings these enfants terribles together is their love of emo music, quite possibly the worst genre ever to be created, aside from country and western. Emo is an offshoot of punk with singers that whine about their librarian looking girlfriends as opposed to hardcore punks who yell entire songs and the original punks who give the establishment the finger. Emo kids try so hard to look and be different that they all end up looking the same.

Emo kids are the kind of people who insult you at group dinners when you order some tasty meat as they are vegan. They fight back the tears and harangue you about your food having had a face while you chew on each delicious morsel. These are the same "self righteous" people who blow their toxic cigarette stink in your face(many of them smoke) and don't see the hypocrisy in killing their fellow human beings with secondary smoke.

They are one of the ultimate cliches and the funny thing is that they are too dumb to see it. They are far too busy listening to sad, crappy music while writing about their pain on their Powerbooks and commenting on one another's journal entries. Their sample Livejournal entry - Current mood: Morose. If only the emo kids would truly succumb to the pain and end it all. The world would certainly be a happier place.

Random Strange Instant Message Received By Grinch

"Hi. This is Jay in Florida. Might u know of a hot looking 18 to 25 year old lady that would be interested in making good money by ocasionally[sic] wrestling with a guy?"

The Internet is a truly weird place.

Gmail Means Dollars For Beta Testers

It's funny to me how when something is hard to get, people really want it. The whole concept of "being cool" creates many moneymaking opportunities for those able to get those desired items. The latest must-have item in pop culture - the Gmail account.

Gmail is the next generation email service created by the folks at Google. Only a few select people have been chosen to test the service, including yours truly, and recently these users have been provided invites to share the service with their friends to increase the number of beta testers and get the finished product out to the general public that much faster.

This has created a large supply of hard to get Gmail accounts for a chosen few. Understandably so, these Gmail invites started to appear on auction sites like eBay and people have been spending as much as $60 to get one. The allure is not just having something that is not easy to get, but to get the desired ID while it is still available. For example, being myname@gmail.com as opposed to myname1234@gmail.com.

While $60 is no longer seen for a Gmail invite, prices are still in the 20s for those wishing to be the cool kid on the block. Auctions are ending every minute on eBay with the dollars rolling in for a service that is actually entirely free from Google. It just won't be as cool when it is released to the general public. It is, after all, an email service.

The interesting thing is, once the three invites are exhausted, either through philanthropic or capitalist endeavors, Google sends you more. Ah, something for nothing. You've got to love that.

These Are My Pecs, or the Latest Hit in the Cinema - Troy

I went with one of my good friends to see the movie Troy yesterday. There really wasn't anything else worth seeing in the theatre and I am a big fan of history. Also, I wanted to see just how good a movie with an Aryan looking actor with long, blonde, Barbie like hair who is supposed to be Greek could be. Surprisingly, Brad Pitt wasn't bad.

Orlando Bloom annoyed the hell out of me in this film. He's such a delicate looking man, he almost looks like a pretty girl. He played the director's vision of Paris perfectly. What really made me laugh were the posts in the forums on IMDb. My favorite was, "Is Helen a lesbian or pedophile?" Seriously, Bloom was almost as pretty as she was.

While not being the greatest film, Troy was still rather fun to watch. I agree with the director's decision to remove the Greek gods from the movie but it was rather sad to see him take the liberty of rewriting mythology to make the story more dramatic. For example, killing some characters who didn't die in the Iliad, omitting other characters, and making the Trojan war seem as thought it lasted a few days as opposed to the ten years it was to have raged. Eric Bana was also quite good as Hector. I'd say give it a look.

What is more interesting is that Morrissey has released a new album. I am not a big fan of his or the Smiths for that matter, but the first single of his new album is Irish Blood, English heart. If any of you are familiar with the story between the English and the Irish then you can understand just how powerful the song of an Irish-Englishman with torn allegiances can be.

I've been dreaming of a time when
To be English is not to be baneful
To be standing by the flag, not feeling shameful,
Racist, or partial

This is an amazing song. Give it a listen.

Alligators, Snakes, Scorpions, Cockroaches, and Fire Ants or Things You'll Find In Florida Everyday

My friend contacted me to tell me of something horrific that happened to him. He was studying at his desk when he felt something crawling on his leg. Now, my friend lives in a new, very upscale apartment community in the Orlando area. He brushed off what was on his leg and caught a quick glimpse of it. What he saw horrified him. He ran and got a can of Raid and the hunt was on. Having armed himself, he frantically knocked things over while he scrambled to find it. With the prey in his sights, he opened fire and the beast was done. My friend had killed a scorpion.

Being unaccustomed to scorpions crawling on him or sharing his home with them, he began to search the Internet to see what kind of scorpion it was. He determined it to be a Florida Wood Scorpion and took its corpse to his rental office to explain that he had an infestation of the gravest kind. They did not seem very shocked at the office and informed him that the beast was not poisonous. That did very little to ease his mind, nor mine. I informed him that for all of my future visits, I would be staying at his girlfriend's place where the overwhelming amounts of estrogenical toxicity caused by said girlfriend and her gang of roommates would prove most inhospitable to scorpions and any other such creatures. Potpourri and other accoutrements, I sincerely hope, should prove lethal.

Yes, sunny Florida, the place that people in colder climes dream of escaping to. What people do not realize of this supposed paradise is that there are mosquitoes, fire ants, alligators, criminals, rednecks, boat people, snakes, and now scorpions in abundance down here. Behind my house there is a lake. Every year you'd see ducks and their hatchlings swimming in the lake. Every week there would be however many less ducklings swimming behind their parents. Sometimes there'd be a missing parent. Do you know why? Alligators would eat them. How do I know? Because walking on the shore of the lake you'd see ducks that had been bitten in half. In Florida you hear of dogs and little children walking up to a water body and an alligator grabbing them for a tasty treat. It's tragic, but not uncommon here.

The alligators use the sewer pipes as a highway system to end up in all different parts of town. One time at work, an office wide email went out warning us to be careful in the parking lot as gators had been spotted. I thought it was a joke until the following day when a poster had been set up near the office entrance showing deputies posing with the alligators captured in the office parking lot. It just goes to show that you don't have to be in the wilderness to be Crocodile Dundee here in Florida.

I need to escape this place and either return North or back across the ocean. I do not like he beach. I do not like the heat. I do not like sweating. I do not need alligators, scorpions, snakes, and fire ants. I am not Indiana Jones!

Reflections On The Death Of Bill

Months after seeing the first installment and after reading all the hoopla, I finally made my way to the theatre and saw the supposed last part of Kill Bill, Quentin Tarantino's "masterpiece." Tarantino, or QT as his disciples call him, is being praised as a genius by both his fanboys and actors alike. I do not fully agree with that.

The second installment of Kill Bill is quite different from the first. Sure, the Bride is still after Bill to exact her revenge, it's the pace that is different. The first one moved along at such a frenetic pace that it was as if the Bride was attacking your senses along with the people who wronged her. It was like a comic book come to life.

The second installment was much more focused and character driven. We were shown and told that Bill was quite bad. In the second installment, we get to see Bill as a man and a father. We learn that while he is a cold blooded killer, he does have a softer side. Watching him make his daughter a sandwich and cutting the crusts off was a very good scene.

The characters I particularly enjoyed in the second half were Pai Mei and Elle, Darryl Hannah's character. You get to see how Elle lost her eye. It's amazing looking at the variety of roles she has played in her career and this one is my favorite. She was able to be so evil, tough, and sexy with such little effort. Her character has set a standard for villainesses in film. She would have been perfect in a Bond film. I like Pai Mei as the grumpy but undeniably wise martial arts instructor. I like his temper, insults, and taunts. The way he would stroke his beard was quite funny.

The development of Bill and his portrayal by David Carradine were superb. You see that he really did love the Bride and one of the reasons he shot her and had everyone at the wedding killed was because she did in fact betray him. When she finally does exact her revenge on Bill, it was one of the greatest death scenes ever. Never has someone met the Grim Reaper in a manlier fashion.

While I liked these elements of the film, it is still not the greatest movie of all time. I was reading that a test audience in Austin gave the film a five minute standing ovation. I have to say that's overstating the magnitude of the quality of this film by leaps and bounds. I would give this movie 4 out of five stars. It was entertaining but didn't have you cheering for the hero or even really hoping that she would succeed. I kind of sympathized with Bill, she did break his heart and ran off with his baby. After all, is that not a valid reason for revenge?

Donald Trump Fired

There's nothing wrong with being fired on The Apprentice. As a contestant, you have lived in a veritable palace, been mentored by Donald Trump, and had wonderful exposure to a world full of business people that can quite possibly lead to other opportunities. The thing is that if you fire someone for a foolish reason it only illustrates how meaningless and hollow both you and your hit show are.

I just got done watching one of my favorite shows, The Apprentice. The competition is winding down and tonight's episode had the final five contestants battling it out by renting a unit in one of Trump's buildings for the highest amount. There can only be one winner and the losing team had to go to the infamous boardroom.

The project manager of the losing team was Troy, a very affable Southern boy who has led plenty of teams to the promised land. Troy handed Trump a copy of the letter he had sent to the Donald when he graduated from high school. Troy never went to college and his education in the world of business partly came from Trump's classic book, The Art of the Deal. He picked his best friend on the show, Kwame, to go to the boardroom and sent a solid competitor, Bill, back to the suite.

Trump was faced with the dilemma of who to fire. While Troy had been a wonderful leader, he was also a bit of a maverick with his decisions. Kwame never really took a leadership position, even when he was project manager. Trump had asked all three contestants about their education. Troy only has a high school education, Bill has a Bachelor's degree from a good university, and Kwame has an MBA from Harvard.

Trump ended up firing Troy because his company does multi-billion dollar business with corporations all over the world. He felt that Troy's education would be a liability in this area. To me, this was very telling of what a joke this show is.

If Troy's education, something that had been known before he was picked as a contestant on the show, was the deciding factor in him getting fired, that's CRAP. If this is indeed the case, why was Troy even a contestant on the show? By Trump's rationale, Troy never had a chance to win and that is not fair.

One of the annoying things about this show is what an incredible self-promoter Trump is. Everything he does is the "World's Greatest." He has the world's greatest bottled water, golf course, apartment, apartment buildings, casinos, and most definitely, the world's greatest bad haircut. After what the world got to witness on tonight's episode, Trump's show is now the world's greatest sham.

David Letterman Sucks

My new sleep schedule doesn't really allow for me to stay up late during the week. I no longer watch the late night talk shows but I made an exception to see Janet Jackson's appearance on Letterman. It was, after all, her first public appearance since the Super Bowl debacle.

I am not a really big fan of Ms. Jackson's music but she has a certain warmth about her and is definitely easy on the eyes. She was wearing an interesting red dress with a giant belt buckle that showed off her incredible figure. Everything was set to be an incredible show. I couldn't be more wrong.

Janet sat there with her beautiful smile and Dave right away launched into the Super Bowl flash. You could see that Ms. Jackson was not comfortable with talking about it and even said so. However, Dave kept going on and on with the questions even thought she politely asked him to talk about something else and stated that she didn't want to relive that day. But Dave persisted in pestering her and it got to be painful to watch.

Even though Letterman, formerly my favorite talk show host until the suckage started about three years ago, tried to make light of the situation with some jokes, they all failed and he made himself look like an ass. One thing that I witnessed from this on-air punishment was that Janet Jackson is very gracious. Even though she may have been furious that Dave was doing this to her, she didn't show it and didn't create any opportunities to make herself look bad. I commend her on how she handled the situation. Dave really made himself look like an ass.

I cannot explain what happened to the comedic talent that Dave Letterman used to have. I'll never forget classic showdowns like the ones between Dave and Sharon Stone or his on-air battles with Madonna. When someone watched episodes like these, you saw a true master at work. Now Dave has been reduced to that unfunny relative whose jokes you laugh at for the sake of being polite. I can only wonder how much longer his show will be on the air. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

'Til Death Do Us Part or The Government Steps In And Forbids It

The really big headline in America right now is same sex marriage. The mayor of San Francisco feels that the California constitution doesn't say that same sex people cannot marry and people have lined up to get hitched. Governor Schwarzenegger has ordered the bureaucrats to stop immediately, but they refuse and are awaiting a judge's decision.

Many people, especially Republicans, are against the idea of same sex marriages. Currently, San Francisco and the states of Massachusetts and New Mexico are the only places in America that allow gay marriage. The president has just recently announced that he would back a gay marriage ban.

What is so wrong with gays marrying? Are heterosexuals inherently better suited to make marriage work? With divorce rates in this country currently at 60%, it certainly doesn't seem so.

When we look at the history of gay men in this country, gay marriage is a win-win situation. While I was studying for my first degree, in psychology, I was exposed to all manner of statistics. A recent international sex survey revealed that jewish men had the highest average number of sex partners over the course of a lifetime at nine. A study on the sexual habits of homosexual males revealed that a gay American male has an average of about 350 partners over the course of his lifetime. When you look at how AIDS exploded in the gay community and was originally considered a gay only disease before it spread to the heterosexual community through bisexuals, aren't these people being in monogamous relationships something that society would want?

Forward thinking countries such as France and Sweden have allowed same sex marriage for some time. There is no real justification for denying the homsexual community the right to marry and limit them to life partnerships. They should be entitled to all the benefits of marriage as they are tax paying, red blooded Americans just like everyone else. All eyes are turned to the election to see what exactly will come about in more ways than one.

Pop Songs - The Work Of The Devil?

I was watching something on MTV and they played a Missy Elliott song in the background. It was unmistakably Missy as the song had her rather distinctive voicing and that oh so catchy beat. "Pass That Dutch" burrowed its way into my brain and the song almost immediately became a part of the music collection.

How often have we come across songs of this type? You know what I'm talking about. Those songs that even if you absolutely hate them, you find yourself humming or singing them and hating yourself in the process. I decided to scour the music collection and find other songs of the same vein. The results were actually quite shocking.

Missy Elliott - Pass That Dutch
Kylie Minogue - Can't Get You Out of My Head
Kelis feat. Pharrell - Milkshake
Venga Boys - We Like to Party
Basement Jaxx - Where's Your Head At
K7 - Come Baby Come
Len - Steal My Sunshine
Nelly - Hot In Herre
Pixies - Here Comes Your Man
Raveonettes - That Great Love Sound
Sean Paul - Get Busy
Sisqo - Thong Song
Soft Cell - Tainted Love
Tegan And Sara - Monday Monday Monday

Now these songs are not listed in any particular order, as they are all equally powerful and deadly. There are far more to be found in the CD collection. The reason this list is so shocking and further evidence that I indeed got it right - the playlist size weighed in at 666 bytes. You make the call.

Football, A Streaker, And Peek-A-Boob

I spent almost the entire first half of the Super Bowl on the phone with one of my best friends. Like many others, I expected the game to be a long boring one and for the first twenty seven minutes it lived up to expectations. It wasn't until the last three minutes of the first half that it actually got exciting with points actually being scored.

I didn't bother watching the halftime show. Super Bowl halftime shows, contrary to what planners think, suck. It doesn't matter who they get to perform or how many performers they have, it's only entertaining to middle America, not that there is anything wrong with middle Americans. The finale of this year's halftime show had a bonus - a boobie.

Janet Jackson was the featured performer of the show and for the finale she was wearing a black leather gladiator outfit that looks like it was rejected from the Matrix. Justin Timberlake was performing a duet with her and they were singing his horrible "Dance With Me" song. Right when he utters the words about being naked by the end of the song he rips off the covering off her right breast. The cameras cut away from showing her breast but it was all over the Internet for the world to see. Her nipple had a metallic sun covering it.

CBS, MTV(who organized the halftime show), and Justin himself were all apologizing for what happened. A lot of people called CBS immediately following the stunt in order to complain. Timberlake issued this apology, "I am sorry that anyone was offended by the wardrobe malfunction during the halftime performance of the Super Bowl. It was not intentional and is regrettable." What a crock. Drudgereport.com was nice enough to have an enlarged photo of the offending breast, which I saved for journalistic research purposes, and humorously named it jjteet1. They also had an animated .gif of the costume ripping incident so the world could see for themselves what happened.

This was a publicity stunt. I don't know what kind of wardrobe failure can take place when the covering for the breast wasn't sewn on, it was held in place by snaps. If Timberlake was going to apologize, he should have simply apologized and not chalked it up to wardrobe failure. Jackson has not made any comment of the incident as of the time of this posting.

The FCC is now going to start an investigation into what happened and will quite possibly be issuing costly fines. The potential smoking gun is that Jackson's choreographer promised some shocking moments in the routine. So, it's quite possible that MTV knew what was going to happen.

As if the jjteet debacle was not enough, before the second half could begin, a man dressed as a referee took the field and ripped off his clothing. It was none other than the famous Liverpudlian Streaker working his magic again. The cameras wouldn't show what was happening. They showed some graphics on the screen of the score and the announcers had only a few comments without actually saying there was a streaker on the field. What you could see was a bunch of people suddenly converge on one spot, which in fact was the streaker being tackled and arrested.

The Super Bowl actually turned out to be a good one. Not for the varying degrees of nudity, but for the football action itself. The lead in the fourth quarter was a see-saw affair and the winner of the game was unclear. However, the Patriots kicked the winning field goal with a handful of seconds left to seal the deal just like they had only two years before. What a game, indeed.

I Can Call You Names, But How Dare You Do That To Me

I love when people talk about the freedom of speech. It's wonderful that you can say whatever you want, isn't it? The one thing that you have to remember is that it works both ways. People will attack you for what you have to say.

It is not my intention for this blog to be politically related at all. There are far more interesting things for me to write about and there are enough television channels dedicated to the matter of politics. But today we are going to talk about certain participants in the recent moveon.org awards show in NYC.

There were two entries that were saying that George Bush was a modern day Hitler. That is not what I am writing about. I am writing about the behavior of Margaret Cho, the popular Korean-American comedienne and the bald, attention grabbing musician Moby. These two people are mistakenly under the impression that it's alright to insult someone, but it's wrong for fans or followers of the person they insult to in turn insult them back.

Moby is blaming President Bush and Matt Drudge for the hateful and racist emails that Margaret Cho has received after her blistering comedic tirade against the sitting president. He claims that Matt Drudge took what Cho said out of context, despite the fact that Drudge printed what Cho said word for word. This, in my opinion, is outlandishly stupid behavior by both Moby and Cho.

I want to make it abundantly clear that I enjoy the comedic stylings of Margaret Cho, the music of Moby, and I do not belong to any political party and cannot vote in the USA. However, I know that you cannot insult someone, especially a popular person like a president, and not expect to be insulted in return.

This is a simple case of whiners and troublemakers being able to dish it out and not being able to take it. Rather than just suck it up, they go on and attack the Republicans and the president even further. Cho refers to George W. Bush as Dumya on her own web site. I believe Matt Drudge said it best, "Those E-mails are mild compared to what I receive on a daily basis. That is the nature of the Internet. Moby and his friends just have to 'butch up."

Beware of Bulletproof, Killer Dog

I have taken a break from the creative outlets. I have just recently restrung the Les Paul and it sounds amazing. However, I have no desire to play guitar right now. I have reached a temporary stopping point with the script as I am thinking about whether or not I want the next scene in my head to be the next scene in the movie. I have thought of other actors and songs that I do want to bring it to life on the screen and I firmly believe that people will be very happy with the choices.

One of my best friends contacted me from the frozen tundra of NYC and asked if I would be interested in taking care of his boss' sister's pitbull. This is the following correspondence:

"Yo! My boss asked me about you last night. Her sister has a pit bull that she needs taken care of for a while. Kate new[sic] you lived in the Tampa area and was curious to know if you would be interested in taking care of her. The dog is apparently very calm and nice unlike a traditional pit bull. I thought I would write if you were interested or not let me know. Good talking to you last night by the way.
Have Fun,
Tim"

My response:

Dear Tim,

I will not be able to take care of a dog that, as of yet, has not chewed a child's face off. I detest pit bulls with extreme passion as they are horrible animals, despite what their owners say. There is also the matter of fleas and having to take it outside to dump and picking the poo up. I don't like my own poo, let alone those from a child eating mammal. Oh, look. A little hand.

He really didn't have a reply for that response. When I was reading the news a couple of days later, I came across this article on local6.com, an Orlando newschannel web site:

"Authorities are still searching Jan 19 for the owner of a pit bull terrier that attacked two women and a man in Orange County, Fla., and survived being shot in the head, according to Local 6 News. The women were walking in a neighborhood on Lee Avenue off Orange Blossom Trail when they were attacked. Someone shot the dog in head but the dog survived and attacked another man in the area before being caught."

I think I made the right decision. Bulletproof, killer dogs are not welcome at Casa Grinch.

The song that I cannot get enough of is Special Needs by Placebo. If you look at the lyrics, it's kind of funny how they talk about getting a movie deal. I have found the perfect scene in the movie to use this wonderful song. Give it a listen and if you have Winamp, the video for it is available in the videos section of the Winamp site.

I Am MacGuyver

I spent last night with one of my oldest friends and his adorable baby daughter. It's nice to see that he has a natural ease with this newborn. I can only imagine which of his wild traits she has inherited.

We had fun watching Bruce Almighty, eating some pizza, and drinking some beers. He resides in a rather tony neighborhood on the other side of town from where I live. Everything is upscale with rather posh shops actually located in the community itself. He says Starbucks is a great place to people watch.

On the way home I stopped off to buy some milk. I wouldn't be able to start my day off right without my better tasting, Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch. I bought my milk without incident and drove the short distance to stately Grinch Manor. I put my key in the recently stiffening deadbolt and that's when the key snapped off in the lock.

It was 2AM and I had better things to do with my time. I set my milk down and took a closer look at the lock. What I needed were some needle nose pliers and a flathead screwdriver. Fortunately for me, these tools could be found in the trunk of my car.

I looked around my car emergency kit and easily found the screwdriver I needed, but I had only regular pliers. I used the flathead to turn the deadbolt the rest of the way, but no matter how hard I tried, I could not extricate the broken portion of the key from the lock. It was at this point that I decided to take a little break and check my mail.

The only mail I had was from my bank and it was telling me what I great idea it would be to open a new account with them. I didn't enjoy the prospect of having to spend the night in my car or driving down South and spending the night at my Dad's. I started to think of what MacGuyver would do.

The answer was simple - use a credit card for the bottom lock. I thought to myself that there was no way that it could be so easy to jimmy the lock. I made my way to the door after having a swig of the fat free T.G. Lee to steady my nerves. I did not want to damage any of my real credit/debit cards so I whipped out my expired Sam's card. I stuck it in the crevice where the bolt would be, pressed forward, and the door just popped open. There is nothing like the sweet taste of victory.

Now I am sitting here after my sojourn to the office with my interesting tale. I am awaiting the arrival of the maintenance man to replace my dearly departed deadbolt. The lady in the office gave me a backup key, but I just had to be MacGuyver one more time. The thrill never ends.

Welcome to Cell Phone Hell

I love watching the T-Mobile commercial about bringing your wireless number over to them. This way you won't have to call all your contacts and let them know that you have a new number. They make it seem like it's so easy and you'll be so glad that you did. My experience with this was a six week ordeal.

I had grown weary of using AT&T wireless as my cell phone had become rather antiquated, but more importantly, I hated my reception. So, I did the research and found that T-Mobile had the best prices. Not only would I have more minutes, free accessories, and the all important no digital roaming nationwide, but I would also get a free phone. There was a $35 activation fee, but that cost was offset by the number of accessories(leather case, extra faceplate, car charger, and belt clip).I contacted T-Mobile and got the ball rolling. Boy, was I excited.

My package finally arrived from T-Mobile and it contained all the goodies as promised.
I installed the SIM card and awaited the text message confirming that my old cell phone number had been ported. That message didn't arrive like it was supposed to. That's when I called T-Mobile for the first time.

The customer care consultant apologized and checked the records to see what was going on. The consultant explained that I needed to give it another day and it should work. So, I gave it another day.

I gave it two days and there was no text message. I called T-Mobile back and talked to another customer care consultant. This one was more helpful than the first because they gave me a temporary phone number to use while waiting for my old one to get switched over. They went on to say that it might take a week to ten days for the whole process to go through. I thanked them and the clock began anew.

While waiting for the port to complete. AT&T Wireless was on the news due to the sheer number of people who were in the same boat that I was in. The process is supposed to take a few hours at the most and there were people who had been waiting for over a week. The FCC was taking a large number of complaints and asking AT&T what exactly was going on. This was not encouraging to me.

So, that time came and went with no change. I made my third call to T-Mobile and asked what exactly was happening. They said that process had begun, completed, and then started again. It had looped twice. They apologized and told me they would waive my activation fee. I thought that was fair enough. I got a call with an automated message the following day apologizing and announcing my activation fee would be waived.

I gave it some more time. I now had two cell phones with two different numbers. The new one had remarkable clarity over the other. It was also smaller, had more features, and a color screen. I would play the bowling game in it to pass the time and to use up the last amount of energy when the battery was dying. I figured I'd give T-Mobile another week. My AT&T bill arrived.

Yes, that's right. My AT&T bill arrived. When you are porting a number, you cannot close the account of the number you are porting. I had to call T-Mobile about this as their deal was about to cost me money, since I would have to pay their bill as well. I let another week go by and told them of my situation. They said that they would credit my account because of the difficulties they were experiencing. A trouble ticket with T-Mobile can take up to two weeks to be closed.

I was now unhappy with my situation. At this point, I do not know how many times I have called T-Mobile. I had even called AT&T to see if they could shed any light on the situation and they couldn't. I gave T-Mobile another week to see what would happen.

Enough time had gone by now at this point that I had received yet another bill from AT&T. It had all become a blur of numerous calls, long waiting times, and no one knowing what was going on. It was time to throw in the towel.

I called T-Mobile and I got a rather nice gentleman in the number porting department. He did so much to try and get the number ported, even going so far as to contact AT&T, but gave me some rather interesting news. There was a file that contained information on porting my number that couldn't be opened. I asked who could open it and he had no idea.

At this point, I had enough of this endeavor. I thanked him for his help and told him to close all porting requests. He apologized and transferred me to customer service. I told the customer care consultant my plight and that I had received my first paper bill with none of the credits on it. She credited my account and I told her that the same thing would have to be done next month as I was calling in the middle of the month.

Upon the conclusion of that call, I contacted AT&T to tell them to close my account. I explained the situation to the consultant there and demanded my account be credited. They offered to transfer me to their number porting departmen which I subsequently declined. Since I was an AT&T customer for seven years and hoped that at some point I would switch back, she credited my account and pro-rated it for the current month.

I cannot say how many other people experienced the number porting nightmare that I did, but this system they have in place now sucks. I never want to go throught this experience again and if I can say anything to you all, it's just go ahead and get the new cell number. I still have to call T-Mobile one more time and hope I never have to talk to them again. Their service here in my area is awesome, though.

The Passionate Neighbor

I don't know what to make of my neighbor downstairs. She's a middleaged Latin lady and I think she works for an airline. Whenever I see her, she's all dolled up like a model at a photo shoot. She's pretty and like me, keeps to herself. She is a sex freak.

I keep rather odd hours. I don't go to sleep at the same time every night and I am usually up rather late. I was in bed last night at about 3AM when I heard it - the sound of passion. You see, my neighbor downstairs is a screamer. But, as a bonus, she's a screamer with a sex schedule the same as my sleep schedule.

There's really nothing like laying in your warm bed, listening to the sound of your neighbor calling her lover "Papi" as her headboard bangs out a primal rhythm on the wall. The lady and her lover, a rather beefy man, if it's the same guy I have seen leaving her apartment, have a lot of stamina. They were going at it for some time and there was a command performance at 11AM this morning. Do they not work?

Oh well. It does make for nontraditional entertainment and it's free. I look forward to seeing how many times they can go as I sit here at my desk alternately writing the script, emails, and this blog.

Creative Writing & Ultimate Home Theatre Sound

So, the movie script is just chugging right along. Having never written one before, I had to look around on the Internet to see what would be the proper format and to get an idea of about how long a motion picture script is. Thank goodness for the Rushmore site with its downloadable script.

I have told a few people that I'm writing a script and the usual reaction is one of no reaction at all. Jason is excited and my two other best friends, Jason and Matt like the idea. Tim was nice enough to compliment me on my writing talent from the things that he has seen in the past. I really appreciated that.

It seems that there are two jobs that I'm definitely going for. One pays a lot of money and the other is something that I'm already quite familiar with. I will go after both with equal vigor to see what happens.

Being unemployed has some perks but I'd rather be doing something that takes advantage of my talents. I know that my car is not going to be around much longer. My dream car is just sitting out there or is in some talented engineer's mind waiting to be created. It seems that by the time I get a real job is close to when the car will actually be in production and I will be able to afford it.

A home theatre is truly something to be had. My home theatre was just recently completed and I am truly happy with the results. My only regret is that I don't live far enough away from people to fully appreciate the dynamic sound. So far, my Lord of the Rings DVD has the best sound with a shootout scene from Ronin coming in second. Whenever I play a movie there is the lingering fear that the police will be knocking on my door.

Jobless But Not Taskless

So, I'm without employment again. I got a business card from one of the customers that I met. He is the president of some marketing company and I'll just have to see if there is anything that he can do.

In the meantime, I have come up with a new creative writing idea. I had joked in the past about a movie about my continuing adventures with Jason. Well, I have come up with an idea for a movie script. I have developed the whole story and now with my free time I can get to work on writing the script. It may amount to nothing or could lead to fortune and fame. It seems that the traditional routes to success are not open to me and I will have to blaze my own path.

I found this great quote while reading about a certain comedienne/actress:

"Many people feel that mass acceptance and smooth socialization are desirable life paths for a young adult... Many people are often wrong... Don't bother being nice. Being popular and well liked is not in your best interest. Let me be more clear; if you behave in a manner pleasing to most, then you are probably doing something wrong. The masses have never been arbiters of the sublime, and they often fail to recognize the truly great individual. Taking into account the public's regrettable lack of taste, it is incumbent upon you not to fit in."
-Janeane Garofalo